Dear Abby: I’ve been dating my husband for 7 years and I’m tired of the same fights every day. He smokes marijuana, which I hate. It has been a constant battle over the years. We tried therapy and it helped for a while but then he started smoking behind me. We tried to come to a compromise where he only smokes during certain hours, but it still leads to fights.
When he’s on drugs he shuts me out and says I don’t care about his happiness because it’s what he enjoys, I take it away. , I hate drugs and I don’t like the way he looks when he’s smoking.
I want a baby, but I hate having drugs in the house. I can’t believe he’s alone with the baby when he’s high. I’m tired of having the same fights every day and it’s taking a toll on our marriage. what do i do? — Illinois anti-drug campaign
Dear Antidrugs: Give your husband an ultimatum and pack your bags. If you wish your child’s father didn’t have a marijuana habit and he can’t quit, this person is not the best thing for you, no matter how much you love him.
Dear Abby: I have been reading your column for years and often take the advice you offer others and apply it to my situation. I’ve made friends with women who are 30-28 years younger than me. She is the waitress at the diner I often go to. I have watched her children grow up over the past six or seven years.We had many meaningful conversations and shared highs and lows. She is naturally friendly.
Three or four years ago, she started sharing casual side hugs when I arrived. Last year, these hugs became less sexual and more intimate. It’s just that her bond of friendship has deepened.Sometimes I send instant her messages when she’s off her job, but I don’t see her socially.
Lately she’s been teasing me about being my next ex-boyfriend. Reciprocates to flirting and teasing. I think there is a mutual attraction. I ask her if there is an age difference I am okay with, or fear of causing problems in our friendship. Social taboos weigh heavily on my mind and I am a realist. Should I or shouldn’t I? Or am I reading too much into our friendship? i don’t know in the midwest
Any questions: I can’t say anything because I haven’t seen their chemistry. But nothing ventured and nothing gained. The next time you see her, give her a “more intimate” hug, then teasely tell her you’re thinking about her comment that she’ll be your next ex, and have dinner together sometime. Her response will tell you if you’re reading too much into friendship.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.