Dear Abby: I have a single friend who is in her 40s. In anime dialogue, there is a very noticeable vertical line between her eyes, which greatly detracts from her sweet face.She has a limited income. She wants to offer her Botox, but she intends to pay with a gift card or cash, is it okay for her to offer it to her and how will she approach it? Beauty Helpers in Tennessee
Dear Helper: I think you’re right, but if you let your friend know about this, she might get too self-conscious. Botox treatments have a positive effect on your appearance, but they are only temporary. To keep that ‘fresh’ look, you have to repeat them. Unless you plan to pay for Botox forever, you shouldn’t give her something she can’t afford.
Dear Abby: I’ve been married for almost a year now, and in this short time I’ve seen a side of my wife that I’ve never seen before. She met her during her sobriety, but she is drinking now. Her problem is her behavior when she drinks. One time she was to go to the market and walk back. Instead, I found her in her car with a stranger. She claimed she was too cold to walk and she was just trying to get warm.
On another occasion, she got drunk and had a male friend with whom she had been close in the past pick her up and all her belongings and watched her drive with him. Later I received an apologetic phone call from another man’s apartment asking me to pick her up.
Her latest story is when she told me she put a “code” on her phone and didn’t know where she was. (She had really just turned off location sharing on her phone.) She said she loved me with all her heart. Am I the biggest stupid doormat in the world for not divorcing her? (Can’t stop her love for her.) — soccer out west
Dear “Sucker”: If you haven’t already called your doctor, make an appointment and get tested for any STDs your wife may have been passed on after her runaway.
This scenario continues until she realizes that her marriage is over if she doesn’t get help with drinking soon. It is whether or not you are willing (or able) to give up your addiction to sex with your partner.
Loving her doesn’t make you stupid or a doormat. But sooner or later she will have to accept that what’s wrong with her can’t be cured, and she will have to decide how much pain she can endure. Please accept my sympathy.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.